Naruto Does Whose Line
by ClarinetWrathArineko
Summary: Welcome to Whose Line, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter, and if you count points, you're just like Naruto. Rated T for violence and crude humor, as well as language.


Disclaimer: Wrath does not own Naruto, and neither does YoyoistGreedNiku-Kun (AKA Greed). Wrath also does not own Greed, Greed is his own person and shall be treated as such.

Wrath: Welcome to "Naruto Does Whose Line is it Anyway?"! Hosted by Greed, also known as Nick, and Aly, which is myself. We look like younger versions of our Ranger selves, but we're CRAZY!!!one1!!! Greed doesn't know that he's in here yet, but he will, he most certainly will…here's Episode 1, starring Team 7! Begin!

* * *

**Episode 1: Team 7's TV Debut!**

"On tonight's show, 'I can't believe it's not' Uzamaki Naruto! 'Set it and forget' Haruno Sakura!" Aly, the brown-haired evil authoress of this fic announced. "'New from Ronco,' it's Uchiha Sasuke! And, 'It Slices, It Dices,' it's Hatake Kakashi! Now, fresh from the nut house, here's your host, Nick, or, as I deemed him, Greed!"

"Alrighty then, welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points matter as much as punctuality to Kakashi," Nick, the black-haired teenage friend of the authoress said. Kakashi scowled under his mask. "On to our first game, Questions Only. This is for all of you." Sasuke and Sakura were on one side of the stage, while Naruto and Kakashi were on the other side. "You're give a scene, but you can only speak in questions. Your scene is, Orochimaru is attacking Konoha, and you're in the middle of it, and unable to use your charka. Sasuke, Naruto, you two start us off."

"What's going on?" Naruto asked.

"Don't you see the giant snakes?" Sasuke said back.

"Why aren't you with him?"

"Why aren't you at home?"

"Are you having trouble with your charka?"

"Why are you asking?"

"I…argh…" Naruto got buzzed out, and Kakashi replaced him.

"Why aren't you using your Chidori on everything?" Kakashi asked.

"Why aren't you trying to use yours on me?"

"Why do you care?"

"Umm…" Sasuke got buzzed out and replaced with Sakura.

"Why are you so late and useless?" Sakura asked.

"That's an interesting question…" Kakashi said, getting buzzed out. Naruto replaced him.

"Sakura-chan, did you know that I love you?" Naruto asked.

The buzzer was hit multiple times. "Negative 1000 points to all of you for boring me," Nick said. "We're off to a commercial break, but we'll be back! BEWARE!"

* * *

Insert Commercial Break

* * *

"Welcome back to Whose Line, now with more mushy love scenes than any other show!" Nick exclaimed. His blue eyes looked up to the announcer box, where Aly was sitting pretty. "Well, since my girlfriend likes this game so much, we're doing Scenes from a Hat! This is for all of you." They took the same spots as in Questions Only, while Nick took Aly's black and white top hat-like jester hat out from under the desk. "Before the show, we had the audience submit some scenes. We took out the crap and put the rest in this hat! Our first scene, 'Things you can say to your dog, but not to your date.' This is going to be interesting…"

"Sit!" Sakura shrieked. She got buzzed out.

"Play dead," Sasuke said, giving a death glare to Sakura. He got buzzed.

"Testy, aren't we?" Nick taunted. "New scene: 'What Nick is thinking right now.' You HAD to put this in, didn't you, KT, or should I say, Canadian At Heart." He GLARED into the audience towards a strawberry-blonde haired female with green eyes.

"I would like to see my girlfriend host this, these people are crazy!" Naruto exclaimed, getting buzzed out.

"Don't worry, Naruto, I'm hosting the next episode," Aly said from the announcer box. "And that's not what he's thinking right now."

"And how would you know what I'm thinking, Aly?" Sasuke said. (Buzz)

"I want to get Aly alone after all this is done and over with," Kakashi said seductively. (Buzz) This caused Aly to leap from the announcer box and start slapping Kakashi. "It's honesty, sorry if it was offensive," Kakashi whispered in Aly's ear.

"New scene, hopefully this one won't cause as much violence," Nick said, sighing. "Scene is, 'Bad Video Game Pitches and Titles.'"

"Look, it's Naruto: Uzamaki Chronicles," Sasuke said unenthusiastically. "Now with Stupid Clone Jutsus." (Buzz)

"New from Viz Media, it's Icha Icha Hentai!" Sakura said. "Now with more stuff by the ero-sennin!" Sakura said in a girly voice. (Buzz)

"New scene, since you've pretty much covered a lot of the bases," Nick muttered. He raised his voice again. "Bad Ideas for Aly to think of."

"Now with parodical action, it's Naruto Does Whose Line!" Naruto said in a very squirrelly voice. (Buzz)(End Buzz)

"Okay, now that this is over with, we're off to commercial!" Nick stated. "Don't change that channel!"

"What about points?" Naruto asked. Sakura slapped him. "What was that for, Sakura-chan?"

"The points don't matter, you idiot!" Sakura yelled. "Don't you pay attention to anything?"

* * *

During the Commercial Break

"Aly, you've got to control that temper of yours," Nick said. "You could've done fatal damage to Kakashi if you kept that up." Aly stuck out her tongue at him. "Eh, not much of a loss, anyway, he's always late and doesn't do anything but read those dang books. Shall we kill him off after the show?" Nick whispered. Aly nodded. "Good, start plotting it out, show me the plan, and we'll put it into action."

End Commercial Break

* * *

"Okay, once again, we're back to Whose Line, and if you're counting the points, you're just like Naruto," Nick said. It took Naruto until after this next blurb to figure it out. "Our next scene is Weird Newscasters, and it's for all of you. Sasuke, you're our anchor. Kakashi, you're co-anchor, and you're playing the role of a person who falls off the stool every time someone says the word 'the'. Sakura, you're our sportscaster, and you're playing as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. And Naruto, you're the weatherman, and you're playing as a mailman being mauled by the neighbor's dog." (Kakashi fell off the stool twice in this time period)

Aly played the cue music to start the show. "Welcome to the (Kakashi Fall) 4-o-clock news at 6. I'm your host, Rhett you didn't know what's going on," Sasuke said. "Our top story, the (Kakashi Fall) Leaning Tower of Pisa has just hit the (Kakashi Fall) ground. God rest the (Kakashi Fall) people who died in the (Kakashi Fall – now KF) collapse. Now, over to my co-anchor, Tater Chip."

"Thanks, Rhett. The (KF) Konoha Rebellion has been successfully contained by the (KF) Anbu Black Ops," Kakashi said. "And why am I falling all the time? I don't understand why the (KF) chair keeps slipping out from under me! HELP!"

"Okay, now, over to sports," Sasuke said, "here's Miss Ingin Action! Ingin, what do you have for us today?"

"Rhett, I must say, you're a great anchor," Sakura said. She paused. "For me to poop on. In today's sports, the (KF) Ino-Shika-Cho team scored a decisive victory over the (KF) Tracker Team. Which isn't saying much, because one of the (KF) Tracker Team's members is a beetle, and is easily squashed."

"Thanks for your insightful commentary, Ingin," Sasuke said. "Now, over to weather with our very own Tayinya Shoe!"

"Okay, today it's going to be sunny and…ah, god!" Naruto said in a girly voice. "It'll end up raining later, though…AAGH! Back to you, Rhett…oh, dear god, AAGH!"

"That's all our time for today," Sasuke said. "We'll see you later on the 9-o-clock news at 11! Goodnight!" (End Buzzer)

"Okay, 1000 points for Naruto for successfully pulling off the mauled by a dog act I had to do for Speech class, and 1000 points for Sakura for imitating Triumph and insulting Sasuke and Shino in the process," Nick said, "But, as you know, the points don't matter. We'll be back after this commercial break! Yatta!"

* * *

During the Commercial Break

"Got it set up already, Nick," Aly said, recalling their earlier conversation. "The bait is set for later, too, just direct him later, okay?" Nick nodded. "Okay, and what's with the end statement of 'Yatta!'? It's kind of creepy and girly, if you ask me. It reminded me of Marzipan." Nick shrugged.

End Commercial Break

* * *

"Welcome back to Whose Line! Tonight's winner is Sakura!" Nick announced. A lot of boos were heard from the audience. "It's time for a Hoedown!" Somebody threw their girlfriend down on the ground. "Actually, there are two winners, the other one is Naruto, and Aly's performing in this, too. Now, we need an activity that causes hard feelings in everyone."

"Leaving someone or someone leaving you!!!" Canadian At Heart (KT) shrieked. "What, that's gold!"

"We'll go with that one!" Aly demanded. "So let's start the Leaving Hoedown!"

Naruto in the Announcer Booth played the Hoedown Music. "I left a girl who loved me for a power I could seek. I left her alone because she was too weak," Sasuke sang. "I would have stayed, but I wanted power, duh. And you know the girl I left, her name is Sakura." Resounding OHs were heard in the audience.

"I was left by a guy, and it really did stink. I was ready to put him into the drink," Aly sang in a high pitch. "All my friends in History, they think that he is a prick. But I'm sure glad I didn't, cuz the guy, his name is Nick." Nick blushed madly.

"I broke up with Aly, and it left me with a hole. The hole was the size of a cereal bowl," Nick sang in a tenor voice. "I tried to fill the gap, but all it did was glitch. I realize now that through all that I was a little bitch."

"In Icha Icha Paradise, leaving, it is sick. It only will happen when the girl, she acts like a prick," Kakashi sang horribly in a low voice. "This hoedown of leaving, it is taking far too long. And Naruto's in the booth because he has the smallest schlong."

"He has the smallest schlong," everyone sang. Sakura buzzed them out, and Aly exclaimed, "That's it for tonight, see you next show, with the Sannin Gang, which has Jiraiya, Tsunade, Orochimaru and Kabuto!" Everyone got off stage, and Kakashi stopped to see the next Icha Icha manuscript on the floor. He picked it up, and a large pendulum scythe cut him in half. "Ouch, that has got to hurt," Aly said, chuckling internally. She signaled Nick that it was done. "Hey, Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, want to go to a little party?" Aly asked as they were leaving. The three ninja followed Aly and Nick to a party they were having, celebrating the copping off of their sensei.

* * *

Wrath: Probably about five pages later, Nick, finish us off.

Greed: Read and Review! Flames will fuel my girlfriend's grandma's fire pit up north! This is Greed and Wrath, signing off.


End file.
